Top 10 Ways to Deal With the Critics in Your Life

Have you ever gotten excited about doing something, only to be shot down by the people that you thought would support you? It happens all the time.

Maybe you decided you wanted to train for a marathon, only to be reminded that you’re not athletic and quit on the last few things you tried. Or, maybe you wanted to start a business, only to be told that most businesses fail. Then you’re told that you shouldn’t bother, because you don’t have any business experience anyway.

Life is full of critics. The more you try to accomplish, the more people you’ll have trying to stop you in one way or another.

Try these ideas to overcome the critics and live your best life:

  1. Understand the real reason for their criticism. When you try to be more than you are, it makes the people in your life uncomfortable. They’re used to you being a certain way. It also bothers them that you might become successful while they’re too afraid to change. No one wants to justify their own mediocrity.
  2. Avoid reacting. People are only rewarded for trying to hold you back if you quit or if you get upset. Stick to your plan and avoid responding in an emotional way. Just ignore them and keep on going.
  3. Consider keeping your big plans to yourself. While many success gurus recommend announcing your grand plans to the world as a means of holding yourself accountable, studies show that this hurts more people than it helps.

    • When you let the world know what you want to accomplish, the critics crawl out of the woodwork.
  4. Avoid dwelling on the criticism. There’s no reason to sit around and stew over it. Let it go and put your attention on something that is either useful or enjoyable.
  5. Consider the source of criticism. If Stephen King has something to say about your horror novel, you’d be wise to listen. If your Uncle Joe, the plumber, is criticizing your plans for being an architect, why would you listen?
  6. Find the right people to “criticize” you. Find the right critics. These are often referred to as “mentors.” Find an expert that’s willing to take a look at what you’re doing and provide useful advice. The right mentor can save you a lot of time and speed up your success.
  7. Become even more focused. Use criticism as motivation to focus and work even harder. Show everyone what you can do. Have the last laugh.
  8. Find people who truly support you. Most people wish they had more friends. What people really need is just a couple of friends that truly want the best for you.

    • Bette Midler won Emmys, Grammys, Golden Globes, and many other awards. She stated that the hardest part of winning any of her awards was finding someone that was truly happy for her.
  9. Cut the critics out of your life if you can. If you have things you want to accomplish, there’s no room for those who are trying to stop you. You might be hesitant to cut your critical mom out of your life, but there’s no reason to hold onto the negative friend that you’ve rarely seen since high school.

  10. Change the subject. Get your critic talking about themselves or something going on in their own life. They may soon forget about yours altogether.

If you have big plans for your life, you’re going to have to deal with a lot of critics, too.

Remember that most people choose comfort over growth, but they’re secretly frustrated with themselves because of it. Your choice to live a bigger life is an unpleasant reminder to your critics that they settled. Avoid allowing their issues to derail your dreams.

Follow those dreams and go on to live the life you desire!

Essential Components of Personal Transformation

Whether you want to get fit, build wealth, or revamp your social life, you can do it!

Maybe you’re sick of your life, your waistline, or the person you’ve become. You’re more flexible than you think! You can become just about anything or anyone you like.

It’s far from easy, but where there’s a will, there’s a way.

These strategies can help you become the person you’ve always wanted to be:

  1. Identify your core values. You won’t be happy if you create a big change that puts you in conflict with your values. Most people have never really taken the time to identify their values. Take a day to consider the values that are most important to you. Write them down.
  2. Create a vision of the future. Think about the end result of the transformation you want to make. If you want to lose weight and become fit, think about how you would look and feel. Maybe you’re more interested in becoming wealthy. What would that look like? What kind of house would you own? How would you spend your day?

    • Is your transformation reasonable for you? For example, you might not be able to make a trillion dollars, but you could still build great wealth.

  3. Determine why. Why do you want to make this change? Create a long list of reasons why you want to transform. Get excited.

  4. Identify the qualities and skills you’ll need to develop. If you want to transform your body, you might need to learn more about exercise physiology, nutrition, and develop some discipline. Consider what it will take to accomplish your transformation.

  5. Identify the resources you’ll require. Do you need a personal trainer, gym membership, and a blender? Maybe you need money and a mentor for your transformation. Figure out the resources you’ll need.

  6. Make a plan. Start at the end and keep working backwards until you reach a step that you can do today. Avoid worrying about the details of step 11. You can worry about that when you’re finishing up step 10. You don’t need to see 10 miles down the road to back out of your driveway.

  7. Audit your plan. Imagine following your plan and note how you feel at each step. You’re bound to feel some emotional resistance at one or more points. If you didn’t, you would have made the transformation long ago.

    • It’s important to address each of the issues that creates emotional discomfort. You’re likely to quit if you don’t.

    • Either come up with a plan to work around those issues or just relax and let the negative feelings go.

    • You’ll know you’re in a good place when you find yourself chomping at the bit to get started. Procrastination is a sign that something is awry.
  1. Don’t quit! This is the most challenging part for most people. You fail if you quit. You can’t fail if you don’t. Keep on going no matter how bleak things seem. You can always do better tomorrow than you did today. A little bit of progress each day or week is all you need.

You can transform yourself starting today. Build a vision and create a plan. Stay the course until you’re satisfied with the changes you’ve made.